


In the Briar Patch

by kaeorin



Series: Loki's Lullabies [132]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Avenger Loki (Marvel), Avenger Reader (Marvel), Avengers Tower, F/M, Loki (Marvel) Feels, M/M, Platonic Cuddling, Pre-Relationship, Reader-Insert, Stark Tower
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-05
Updated: 2020-08-05
Packaged: 2021-03-05 21:00:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,193
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25721725
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kaeorin/pseuds/kaeorin
Summary: It isn’t easy, gathering the courage to reach out to Loki of Asgard, but...you manage it.
Relationships: Loki (Marvel)/Reader
Series: Loki's Lullabies [132]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1678240
Comments: 14
Kudos: 203





	In the Briar Patch

Loki was not the type who really struck you as particularly cuddly. When Thor threw his arm around his shoulder, Loki nearly always responded by grimacing and pushing his arm away. And no one else really ever tried to touch him. It was like he was constantly surrounded by thick—but invisible—fencing. It reminded you of the story of Sleeping Beauty, when the briars grew up all around the castle. He didn’t want anyone else in his space, and he didn’t really care to have them _near_ his space, either.

Quietly, when you were alone with your thoughts, you found that you often called his face to mind. Did he really and truly want to be left alone, you wondered, or was that more of a defense mechanism so that he couldn’t be rejected by the other Avengers? You weren’t sure you’d ever really have the courage to find out the answer, but it made you look at him a little differently. It felt like you started catching more of the soft looks he gave to people like Steve and Sam and Bucky when they were all in the same room and messing around with each other. You saw how he looked at Nat and Wanda when they were talking. Maybe you were projecting, but you couldn’t shake the notion that, in those very short seconds that he allowed himself to look at the others, he looked a little...wistful.

It shouldn’t have been as scary as it was, being the one to reach out to him. He wasn’t a threat, but he was absolutely beautiful and mysterious and strange in the most wonderful ways, so you weren’t particularly looking forward to the sneers you figured he’d give you before telling you to fuck off. But, at the same time, you told yourself to expect that at first. The prince in Sleeping Beauty was blinded by the briar patch around the castle, after all. 

So you started reaching out in little ways. If a conversation was happening in a common room where Loki happened to be, you made sure to participate in that conversation so you could turn and pull him into it as well. He looked wary the first few times you did it, but something must have told him that your intentions were good, because he didn’t turn and flee. If there was some type of group-bonding activity happening—training together, or a walk through the neighborhood, or even just watching a movie together—you made sure to invite him along even though he turned you down time after time. 

He started to look at you a little differently. It was hard to tell what, exactly, was beginning to glow in his eyes, but it was certainly something you hadn’t seen in him before. Eventually, he agreed to take walks with you, whether or not the rest of the team was joining you. He sparred with you in the gym even though you knew it had to be painfully boring for him with how much he had to hold back for you. He didn’t seem to hold much interests in movies, but you kept inviting him. Even on nights when you wanted to just hide on the couch and let him keep hiding in his room, you would remember that odd, soft look he had sometimes and it would drag you to your feet.

One night, he finally agreed to join you. He was a little paler than usual, and there were shadows under his eyes. It was clear that he wasn’t feeling well, and you felt a little bad for even asking him in the first place. If he was unwell and he wanted to hide himself away in his room, of course he had every right to do that. But he’d just looked at you for a while, long and hard, and then he drew his brows and gave you the slightest little nod. His agreement was so rare that, at first, you didn’t truly believe that he’d agreed to join you. Maybe he was just trying to get you to step away from his door so he could shut it again without feeling like he was literally slamming it in your face. So you took several hasty steps backwards and gaped at him. But he stepped through his door and pulled it shut behind him and then looked at you like he was waiting for you to lead the way. Your heart hammered in your chest. 

You led him down into the common space. It wasn’t an official team-bonding thing, but almost everyone was there. Thor was arguing playfully with Tony about something—the only thing you could really make out as you joined them in the room was the sheer volume of their voices—but when he saw Loki trailing after you like a shadow, he fell silent. Uh oh. If too many people looked at him too strangely, would Loki turn and leave again? Without thinking about it, you reached out to grab his hand. His skin was cool, and softer than you would have expected, but...lovely. You tried not to look at him even as you led him over to an empty couch and then pulled him down onto the cushions with you. 

Should you have taken his hand like that? He hadn’t yanked away from you or anything, but maybe he didn’t want to look like a jerk in front of all the others. You were still holding his hand, maybe too tight? You loosened your grip as much as you could, and felt the way Loki’s eyes searched your face. You tried to ignore the burning in your cheeks and leaned a little closer to him to explain yourself.

“Sorry. I...I was kind of afraid that you’d turn and run so Thor couldn’t make some stupid joke about you joining us tonight. I didn’t want you to go.” 

You heard him laugh, not much more than a quick puff of air out through his nose, and then he looked away from you again. But still he didn’t pull his hand away from yours. Maybe you were a little too caught up with that fact. You forced yourself to settle a little deeper into the sofa and watched out of the corner of your eye as he did the same. “I’m hardly the type to run away,” he said after a long time. It made you smile, and you turned to look at him again, but Tony hit the lights before you could figure out what to say.

The movie was fine. Not great, not awful. Mainly you came for the commentary from the others. They really had a way of making even a dull movie interesting. On occasion, you were also known to chime in with your own thoughts, but tonight it was hard for you to speak up. Loki’s hand was _still_ in yours. His skin had taken on a little of the warmth from your own, and you found that you really liked that. He appeared to be caught up in the movie—his eyes didn’t waver from the screen—but, every once in a while he would tighten his grip on you or brush his thumb against the back of your hand. However the hell you’d ended up right here, right now, you sent out endless prayers of gratitude into the universe.

Around the halfway point of the movie, you noticed that Loki’s eyelids started to droop. The room was dark except for the screen, and even when someone was cracking a joke about the movie, they did it in soft voices. Your attention drifted from the screen to Loki’s face. Watching him fall asleep was definitely better than any movie you could have been watching. He fought it hard, at first. When his head started to bob forward, you kind of caught the way he forced his eyes open especially wide and rubbed his face with his free hand. He sat up a little straighter and drew in a deep breath like he was trying to will himself awake. That happened three or four painful times before you got up the courage to do something about it.

Turning to him and asking if he wanted to go to bed would be silly. He’d certainly say no, and then he might feel like he had to work harder to stay awake. But if he was feeling comfortable enough to start drifting off right here in the middle of everything, you kind of wanted to encourage that. So, although the thought of it made your heart beat far too quickly, you drew in a deep breath of your own and leaned in against his side. He barely flinched. You rested your head on his shoulder in hopes of allowing him to rest _his_ head on top of yours so it wouldn’t keep bobbing forward and hurting his neck. You pulled your legs up onto the cushion and folded them half-beneath you and half to the side. If he knew what you were doing, he didn’t say a word about it, though you did note the way he kept himself sitting perfectly-erect at first.

Just as you started to wonder if you’d made him too uncomfortable by being so forward, he relaxed a little. He leaned into you—not away—and squeezed your hand again. At long last, you finally felt him tilt his head a bit so that he was resting it on top of your own. You kind of wanted to fist-pump with joy but kept it to yourself, given the situation. You kept your head facing forward even though your eyelids started to droop as well. It was Loki’s fault. You could hear the way his breathing was getting deeper, and you imagined that you could hear the steady beating of his heart in his chest, and of course those things were lulling you into a state of peace. You didn’t quite _sleep,_ because you were too busy making sure you didn’t move too much and disturb Loki, but you just sort of drifted on the very edge for a while. He seemed to be deeply, deeply asleep. What kept him awake? Was he coming down with something? Did he have nightmares? A thousand questions moved sluggishly through your head, but it was easy enough to push them to the side. It didn’t really matter. Maybe all that mattered was the fact that he was asleep now.

When the credits began to roll, someone turned on a lamp on a side table rather than the big overhead light. You heard your teammates chatting for a while: mostly about the movie, but then about life in general. Loki was still asleep. It felt a little like the way it felt when a cat decided to sit in your lap, except _more_ because this wasn’t a cat, it was _Loki_. He was sitting here and he let you hold his hand and then he let you curl into his side and then he felt safe enough to fall asleep on you. 

You knew more or less exactly when the others noticed you and Loki. A hush fell over the room, and Natasha said something in a voice that was too low to make its way to your ears. You didn’t allow yourself to stir. Conversation went on for just a few more minutes, and this time everyone spoke in much softer voices. Gradually, though, they started filing out. Each time someone else stood up and stretched, you held your breath. At some point, Loki would notice the quiet in the room, right, or he’d notice the new movement, and it was sure to wake him up. You knew that it’d probably be better for him to go to sleep in a bed, but you were just selfish enough not to want to give this up just yet. 

Thankfully, he didn’t move. 

The last one to leave was Nat. You could just barely hear her footsteps on the floor as she approached, and then she draped something across your lap—and Loki’s. A blanket. Your heart swelled in your chest, but you didn’t open your eyes. She rested her hand on your leg for just a moment and then disappeared into the night. 

Now it was just the two of you. Or, well, really, just you. The room was quiet. They’d left the lamp on, but the light was soft enough that it didn’t really disturb you. Loki’s head felt heavy on yours. You allowed yourself to muse over all the things he surely knew. The things he’d seen, things he’d done, things he’d experienced. He was a mystery that you would love to hold in your hands. There was no telling what would happen when he woke up. Maybe, you thought to yourself, you should already be bracing for him to lash out and avoid you for a while. You could do that. Whatever he needed.

But for right now, you had his body against yours and his heart beating steadily in his chest. And that was good.


End file.
